by Dr. Debra Collins
Children who are easily overwhelmed have narrow comfort zones. It is far too easy for everyday situations to trigger self-protective “fight or flight” reactions, whereby the autonomic nervous system equips the body to handle danger by increasing heart rate, rapid breathing, and muscle tension.
Author/illustrator Lauren Castillo explores this phenomenon in JUST LIKE MILLIE, a story centered on a child, their mom, and a dog. The child narrates this story in first person. We do not learn their name, so I will simply refer to them as “Child.” Millie is the dog.
Author/illustrator Lauren Castillo explores this phenomenon in JUST LIKE MILLIE, a story centered on a child, their mom, and a dog. The child narrates this story in first person. We do not learn their name, so I will simply refer to them as “Child.” Millie is the dog.
Child and Mom have moved to a new city. In their new apartment, Mom works at home while Child amuses themselves with toys and books. Child is quite content to play at home, alone, because it feels “cozy” and “safe.”
We are shown that, for Child, meeting new people feels threatening. Child rejects Mom’s suggestion that they go to the park and meet other children. When Mom tries to arrange a playdate with the neighbors’ children, Child protests, feeling hot and teary. When Mom tries taking Child into the bookshop for story time, Child has a meltdown: “I shrank to the ground and cried till my face was bright red.”
Mom might not know the underlying neuropsychology of Child’s fearful reactions to the prospect of meeting and interacting with other children, but Mom recognizes that the direct approach only heightens Child’s self-protective defenses.
Instead, Mom takes Child to meet a lady with a dog named Millie. Child describes the dog as “not too big…not too small…just right.” We see that Child feels that this dog is safe. Safe enough for Child to hold a hand out to Millie, even though “I was nervous.” Millie’s quiet responses reassure Child: Millie’s sniffs are a tickle, her lick is a kiss. Child feels that “she loved me right away.” Would Child like to bring Millie home? “Yes,” Child whispers.
Child’s focus shifts from self-protection to caring for Millie. Child makes sure to give Millie whatever she needs – including Child’s favorite stuffie – “so she would feel safe.” Three times a day, Child and Mom take Millie for walks in the neighborhood. Child notices that Millie does not look away from the people who wave. “Millie wagged back. She wasn’t afraid.” One walk at a time, Child begins to look at people…to recognize familiar faces…to say hello. “I felt safe with Millie.”
Eventually, Child agrees to go to the dog park with Millie and Mom, so Millie can go off her leash and make friends. And that’s where Child quietly, somewhat nervously, finds the courage to break free from their own “leash” and take initiative to approach, greet, and befriend the shy girl sitting with her own mother on the next bench.
JUST LIKE MILLIE deftly shows how secondary characters can provide impetus for the main character’s growth without taking over. Additionally, JUST LIKE MILLIE effectively incorporates key therapeutic threads. In social-emotional terms, Child achieved growth in Self-Management. Specifically, Child became increasingly able to manage stressful thoughts and emotions. This, in turn, freed Child to identify a personal goal – making a friend – and gave them the courage to take initiative to achieve it. The story also deftly illustrates a therapeutic technique called Systematic Desensitization. In this method, the situation that causes anxiety is broken down into steps. Within a safe setting, with supports that provide reassurance and relaxation, the fearful individual enters each step, progressing gradually from least to most threatening.
When a child is highly anxious, calming the automatic fight-flight reaction is the foundation for enlarging their world. I love that JUST LIKE MILLIE shows this process. Each step Child takes with Millie is the smallest step at which Child feels safe enough to be brave. And step by step, Child achieves confidence, self-efficacy, and the freedom to live life to the fullest. Just like Millie.
We are shown that, for Child, meeting new people feels threatening. Child rejects Mom’s suggestion that they go to the park and meet other children. When Mom tries to arrange a playdate with the neighbors’ children, Child protests, feeling hot and teary. When Mom tries taking Child into the bookshop for story time, Child has a meltdown: “I shrank to the ground and cried till my face was bright red.”
Mom might not know the underlying neuropsychology of Child’s fearful reactions to the prospect of meeting and interacting with other children, but Mom recognizes that the direct approach only heightens Child’s self-protective defenses.
Instead, Mom takes Child to meet a lady with a dog named Millie. Child describes the dog as “not too big…not too small…just right.” We see that Child feels that this dog is safe. Safe enough for Child to hold a hand out to Millie, even though “I was nervous.” Millie’s quiet responses reassure Child: Millie’s sniffs are a tickle, her lick is a kiss. Child feels that “she loved me right away.” Would Child like to bring Millie home? “Yes,” Child whispers.
Child’s focus shifts from self-protection to caring for Millie. Child makes sure to give Millie whatever she needs – including Child’s favorite stuffie – “so she would feel safe.” Three times a day, Child and Mom take Millie for walks in the neighborhood. Child notices that Millie does not look away from the people who wave. “Millie wagged back. She wasn’t afraid.” One walk at a time, Child begins to look at people…to recognize familiar faces…to say hello. “I felt safe with Millie.”
Eventually, Child agrees to go to the dog park with Millie and Mom, so Millie can go off her leash and make friends. And that’s where Child quietly, somewhat nervously, finds the courage to break free from their own “leash” and take initiative to approach, greet, and befriend the shy girl sitting with her own mother on the next bench.
JUST LIKE MILLIE deftly shows how secondary characters can provide impetus for the main character’s growth without taking over. Additionally, JUST LIKE MILLIE effectively incorporates key therapeutic threads. In social-emotional terms, Child achieved growth in Self-Management. Specifically, Child became increasingly able to manage stressful thoughts and emotions. This, in turn, freed Child to identify a personal goal – making a friend – and gave them the courage to take initiative to achieve it. The story also deftly illustrates a therapeutic technique called Systematic Desensitization. In this method, the situation that causes anxiety is broken down into steps. Within a safe setting, with supports that provide reassurance and relaxation, the fearful individual enters each step, progressing gradually from least to most threatening.
When a child is highly anxious, calming the automatic fight-flight reaction is the foundation for enlarging their world. I love that JUST LIKE MILLIE shows this process. Each step Child takes with Millie is the smallest step at which Child feels safe enough to be brave. And step by step, Child achieves confidence, self-efficacy, and the freedom to live life to the fullest. Just like Millie.
Find Debra here:
Website: www.thewritedebracollins.com
Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/thewritedebrac.bsky.social
Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debra-collins-258706221/
Website: www.thewritedebracollins.com
Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/thewritedebrac.bsky.social
Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debra-collins-258706221/
