Coming Out On Top

by Dr. Debra Collins
www.TheWriteDebraCollins.com

“I am right!” “I am better!”
Competition demands striving to place ourselves above.
To be the highest, not the lowest.
To be at the top, not the bottom.

How can children learn that competing to win doesn’t mean losing their friends?

With awareness that between the different extremes is a common bond,
top vs. bottom becomes play.

This month’s story explores both the pull of polarities and the drawstrings of connection by turning the celebration of Hanukkah into a competition.

Noah lives in New York. His cousin Nora lives in New Zealand. During their frequent talks on the phone, each is living on a different date, at a different time of day, going through a different part of the school year. They argue playfully about which of them is the one who is upside down. And though they’ll both be celebrating Hanukkah the same week, it’s winter for Noah, and summer for Nora. Which Hanukkah is better? Which is “backwards” and “upside down”?

Noah and Nora play out their challenge on a shared photo album online. Over the eight days of the holiday, they post pictures to prove theirs is the best Hanukkah.

In the pictures, the differences are clear. Noah’s wearing boots, Nora is barefoot. Noah’s throwing snowballs, Nora’s swimming. Noah’s admiring the view from a skyscraper, Nora’s looking out from a mountaintop. And so on.

But the pictures also illuminate the consistency of their Hanukkah traditions. They both sing “Rock of Ages,” recite the Hebrew prayer, light the candles in the Hanukkah menorah, give to charity (tzedakah), eat potato latkes and jelly donuts (sufganiyot), play dreidel, and receive coins (gelt) and gifts.

And when each cousin unwraps the gift sent by the other, guess what? Each sent, and received, a “World’s Best Cousin” shirt.

The bottom line? Love comes out on top.